


i'll find a way

by snugglepup



Category: RWBY
Genre: Cat Ears, Comfort/Angst, Episode 6 Burning the Candle, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Volume 2 (RWBY)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 10:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5413562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snugglepup/pseuds/snugglepup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>'Not just for you, but for the people you care about.'</em>
</p><p>There's something about those words that doesn't feel right. She was scared. Not just worried or concerned, but <em>scared.</em> Her eyes couldn't possibly hide that raw, startling fear. You don't think people look like that when they've been telling a story to get a message across; they look like that when they're desperate.</p><p>She wasn't really saying what she meant at all, even though the distinction should probably just be semantics. It was more like <em>'Not just for you, but for the people who care about you.'</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll find a way

_if you try and hide it, you will always feel alone_

_if you try to deny it, you will always feel alone_

_oh love, you'll take me to the end, i know you will_

 

_[circa survive – i'll find a way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUv16OSc1vo)  _

 

* * *

 

It's not until after the dance that you really have the time to think about any of it, if you're being honest with yourself. You can't help feeling guilty when you miss half of what Ruby has to tell everyone because you're still trapped in your own mind, which is decidedly more interested in today than the future – another betrayal of yourself, there. By the end of the night, when even your leader's worn herself out from talking too much, you've discovered something wonderful: you still can't sleep.

Why did today and yesterday feel so _important_ somehow? You don't even remember the whole thing. Half-asleep, a mess under the surface, forcing yourself to shove everything down (just for one day, just for one), some effort and a bit of makeup to help hide the shadows under your eyes... only half-understanding why you changed your mind, or whether you really just ended up being pressured hard enough to finally crack and run from yet another responsibility.

Staring up at the underside of a certain person's bunk, you try to decide how and why she somehow managed to get you to do all of this, not to mention why _she_ was the one who came to talk to you, or maybe why she came to talk to you alone. You haven't gotten the impression that the others actually know what Yang told you, or what she did at all, just that she did _something_ and it worked like magic.

It did, though; maybe it _was_ magic for all you know, because you still can't completely parse her logic. You can't really parse most of it. It's true that she had a point – _probably –_ but her point wasn't really what made the difference. When you think about her story, it's not even her story you're thinking about, it's the fact that you can't actually remember her showing even the slightest sign of weakness the entire time you've known her. Not until now. When you think about _that_ , you think about... well, about the moment that ended up as the turning point.

When was the last time someone held you like that? _Was_ there a last time?

Blushing at the way your mind decided to phrase _those_ thoughts, you slowly turn over onto your side. Even if someone was awake they wouldn't be able to see that, it's fine. You can still follow every line and curve in the room, but to them it should almost be pitch black.

_'Not just for you, but for the people you care about.'_

There's something about those words that doesn't feel right. She was scared. Not just _worried_ or _concerned,_ but _scared._ Her eyes couldn't possibly hide that raw, startling fear. You don't think people look like that when they've been telling a story to get a message across; they look like that when they're desperate.

She wasn't really saying what she meant at all, even though the distinction should probably just be semantics. It was more like _'Not just for you, but for the people who care about you.'_

Then she walked out, just like that, like nothing had happened at all, and the rest was a blur of trying to prepare for going to a school event with a boy you like, frayed nerves, Jaune in a dress (actually, was that part real? You're not totally sure yet) _,_ and it was a really really unexpectedly nice night and Sun is cute and nice and sort of your type and better at handling special occasions than his skills with ties would have suggested, and the only thing about the whole party that actually feels real was the short few minutes you spent dancing with a girl you had no idea would even own an outfit like that, let alone make it work for her. _Really_ make it work for her.

You squeeze your tired, sticky eyes shut, sigh, and open them to _a little red dot_ that _is TOUCHING THE ARM YOU LEFT HANGING OUT IN FRONT OF THE BUNK_. It sits there patiently, almost dutifully, as you bite the inside of your lip to keep every tiny movement as silent as possible. The red thing wobbles, just a little. _Almost._ You've _almost_ got your other arm free and then it _skitters around in little circles_ and you are _not letting it get away_ and _wow_ are you ever lucky Ruby and Weiss are apparently too exhausted to be woken up by an idiot falling out of bed.

"Hey, are you asleep?" The red thing (the _LASER POINTER_  you are _better than this_ ) dances a maddening little circle on the floor and then disappears. You tilt your head up at Yang Xiao Long, a _shameless rogue_ masquerading as a friend, and she grins.

"Yes."

"Great, neither am I!"

"... What do I have to do to get you to throw that horrible thing away?"

"You couuuuld... maybe hang out with me for a little bit~?"

While you're still lying on the floor in a heap of disgrace, she drops surprisingly quietly off of her bunk, giving you a hand before plopping down next to you on your bed, all wild and frizzy gold gleaming in the darkness. It occurs to you that the only difference between her boy shorts and her sleepwear is different fabric and half an inch of her thighs. Somehow, that makes a _lot_ of difference.

You're surprised a little that she doesn't start talking right away. She just sits there, and you have no idea where this is going, so you do the same.

"I'm really glad you changed your mind."

"No, I should – well." You swallow, harder than you'd meant to. "Thanks for... making me. I think. Ow!" You hiss as she elbows your arm. "What was that for?"

"Nobody _made_ you do anything," Yang says. "You could have just ignored me." She turns her head to meet your eyes, a tired little half-smile on her face. "Thanks for listening instead."

"... but I didn't listen. I'm still not sure if I agree with you or not. There are still other things I could have – _we_ could have been doing, and what happened to Ruby proves _that –_ "

"If you didn't listen, then why were you just thanking me?"

"I don't _know!",_ you spit way out way too loud, provoking a strangled half-snore from Weiss, who is _much_ less dignified in her sleep than she thinks she is. You stay perfectly motionless until you're absolutely sure you didn't wake her up. "I don't know," you whisper. "I just..."

"Hey," Yang says, gently. "It's okay."

"It's _not_ okay," you say, eyes prickly and hot. "You just – when you..."

A slightly calloused finger brushes the first tear from your cheek, and you aren't sure what to say now, because maybe you _do_ know why after all.

"I just didn't want to risk hurting anyone who cares about me," more of a sad little whimper than a sentence, and she stiffens just a bit. "I'm not used to being... cared about, like that."

"You know, that isn't _exactly_ what I said earlier," she says, failing to sound casual.

"Yeah," you say, "I know," and when you start to cry, she slips an arm around your shoulders. When that just makes you cry harder, you let her pull you into a hug and spend the next few minutes sniffling and hiccuping into her chest. Fingers creep up the back of your head and you twitch with sudden, instinctive fear.

"Sssshhhh," she says, tugging at a certain ribbon. "Let's get this off you, okay? There's no way that's comfortable to sleep in." Your ears chill quickly in the open air, and you can't suppress a shiver at how strangely naked you feel in this moment. Somehow this leads to you clinging on even more tightly, and her hands come to rest on your shoulders, massaging in deep with her thumbs. You're starting to get drowsy, finally, as she slowly and thoroughly works your muscles over, moving up along your neck after a little while. The world has gone all sideways and slow, and you hardly notice that somewhere along the line you've started to purr.

"Y'rr so warm," you slur into her shirt. She giggles, and very slowly, very carefully brushes the pads of her thumbs along the bases of your Faunus ears. Even mostly asleep, it feels good. _So_ good. Little hairs stand up all over your body, and you just purr louder, nuzzle a little more insistently. She's soft, so soft, especially for someone who can knock an Ursa through a line of trees with one fist, shred an enormous Atlesian robot in seconds, but then again, no one's without their contradictions, secrets, and you shouldn't be so surprised. She's warm, and so are you: wherever the two of you touch, on your cheeks, behind your ribs, in the pit of your stomach.

"So how'd your date go, killer?", Yang whispers.

"Good," you mumble without thinking, hardly even able to hear yourself. "She's a really good dancer."

The last thing you remember before falling asleep is a kiss on the head, just between your ears, and in the morning you might think it had only been a dream if not for your bow laid out carefully next to your pillow and a tiny heart scratched into the bottom of the bunk above your head, where it will remain as the first thing you see every time you wake up for what you hope is a long, long time.

 

* * *

 

_oh love, you'll tear out all your hair, i know you will_

_i'll always want to carry it all, love_

_find a way to carry it all for you_

 

[ _circa survive – i'll find a way_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUv16OSc1vo)


End file.
